My heart sank. I could not believe that it was actually happening. All the horrible emotions swirled around in my head. The only word that I could hear, over and over and over, was DIVORCE. DIVORCE.
It was like a bullet shooting through my head.
I was scared. What was going to happen? My hands became clammy and I realised I needed to be alone; I needed to take all of this in.
I knew something wasn’t right when my mum had asked me to stay at my Granny and Grandad’s house whilst she had a “grown-up talk” with my dad.
I walked up their stairs; every step I took it felt like I had the whole world in the weight of my legs. Once I got up to the guestroom, I just looked at my phone.
I decided I would talk to one of my friends as they had experienced the same thing.
Looking around, it was very peaceful. It was a very quaint and sweet room, a bit like mine at home… or the one that used to be mine. Dinner was nearly ready but I was not at all hungry. I just lay on my bed, thinking about what was going to happen. My whole world had just been cut into lots of tiny pieces: how was I going to put them all together again? How?
I awoke to my alarm going off; I looked around and wondered where I was. What was happening?
Oh no! It was no dream: I suddenly realised that I was living my nightmare for real.
I had bad stomach pains and everything felt so weird. I was so scared; I did not know what was going to happen.
I just burst into tears.
I got ready and, later in the morning, I went back to my house, which was only over the road, to collect my books that I needed for school. When I got there, I ran to my dad and would not let go. I just wanted my mum and dad to get back together but I knew that was not going to happen. My dad took me to school but it was so hard getting out of the car. I just could not do it. It felt like everyone’s beady eyes were looking at me. I just wanted the car to swallow me up in one big gulp. I was so scared, but why?
Over the next few days, it was hard. One minute I was fine, then the next minute I was in tears. I just cannot explain why I went from being ok to feeling two completely different emotions. It was weird.
Surprisingly, I have to admit though as the days went on it got so much easier. I have learnt many things through this experience but the main thing is that your parents love you so much.
They may not love each other, but they will always care, love and protect you. I do not mean to be rude or ungrateful but, actually, I am quite enjoying my parents not being together; there are no more arguments; my parents seem to be a lot happier, and that means a lot to me.
If you are going through this, or have gone through this, just remember that your parents love you so, so much. It is not your fault. You may think this at times, but it is not. Not everyone is the right fit for each other and, if they’re not, they’ll always be the right fit for you and still love you. Remember that.